Silent Farts Are Stinky. Loud Ones- Plain Embarassing

Turns out I'm perceived as the Marilyn Monroe type at the new abode... NOT.. I just wish the artist won't be showing off "my" ass, the next time he make my caricature...

By the way, BF and me watched the first screening of Dark Knight yesterday...Only have one thing in mind after watching the movie -- Heath Ledger's death must have occured becasue he offered his soul to the devil in exchange of a stupendously eerie and effective portrayal of Batman's #1 nemesis -Joker... yun eh hula lang naman...so hindi ako masyadong sure dun...

Just got up from lunch with the ex-webdate angels. Surprisingly, things kinda turned out the way I want things to be -- Me ending up working with the top retards in my social network... I couldn't really complain much from my present company. My daily task isn't too tedious therefor I get to work on my freelance projects; I get to do my work elsewhere if I have a sudden "emergency;"  We have cool bosses who love to party thus, free booze and food once in a while in their condo a building away from ours plus, a trip to Boracay. They are so cool they'd even pay for BFs accomodation and promised Rene this big ass Transformer toy... bwahahaha..

Anyway, in spite of all the cool stuff, there are things that I hate about the new job.. Cockroaches, a common CR and the small stock room where we smoke. Yes, we smoke in a stock room, so small, 5 Renes won't fit in it.. But things will be different a few weeks from now cause we're gonna be transferring into a bigger and hopefully cleaner unit. The only thing that we can't do anything about are the ELEVATORS. It's one thing that it takes 84 years before you get to your floor; the people you ride in with? Its another adventure...

Thus the title...

1) In an elevator that is almost full:
 "UP! UP! Pakihold lang!" came a voice a mile away from the elevator (you press the hold button long enough to annoy yourself)
To your surprise, behind the voice is a gazillion other people who also wants to get into the elevator.

2) In an elevator that is already full:
"Full na ba?" (while obviously it is full)
"Pwede pa yan, pa-move naman" The person in front will try to squeeze himself in to give way to the dick who just got in..
"Wang wang wang... Sorry, the elevator is crowded" (its the sound of the elevator, moron)
The person who just got in won't bulge. Being the spineless person he is, the person who gave way to the persistent asshole got out...

3) In a crowded elevator with your office mates
officemate 1: Natatae ako
officemate 2: Sana discreet ng konti diba???
officemate 1: OO nga e. Siya nga po pala si (says your full name) taga (company name) po siya... Nakakahiya ako ano? Proud akong nakakahiya ako!"

4) In a crowded elavator a group of executive looking guys came in:

"Hahahaha, Pare I'm good with numbers... siyempre yung mga simpleng quantitative curves nga nababasa ko pano pa kaya yung mga $#&*(&^()! (I sensor words that make my nose bleed)

5) In ANY elevator, you just got in from the ground floor and your on your way to the 19th floor:

Officemate: "Ahh! Sarap kumain nauutot ako!"

6) In ANY elevator with Barney: (you mighy not know who i'm pertaining to but people from my office is very much aware of who he is)

Barney: while drawing imaginary things with his fingers on the wall  ---------------------------- *tumbleweeds*

I have just deleted a blog draft about my experience with fireflies on my way home from office because the entry was so retarded.. To make the long retarded entry short-- YES they still do exist; I never really thought I'd ever see them again.. Plus I realized seeing a bunch of them hovering in the dark will make Metro Manila traffic more bearable.. I felt as giddy as the song I was listening to that very moment in my player --"Don't Go Breaking My Heart" by Elton John and Kiki Dee.

===

Anyway, it was an interesting weekend.. it was.. how do I describe it.. uhh stormy... It was fun watching the flooded streets and the people who were able to stomach swimming with gigantic dead mice, diapers, cockroaches and all other things unimaginable.. We also watched a marathon of all the Elizabeth films.. BF decided to buy the sequels after we watched Natalie Portman's head got chopped off in the movie "The Other Boleyn Girl.."

While Paeng and Peter embraced culture by watching a film at the French Film Festival in shang, the BF and me had our own serving of culture in a huge plate.. We went down south to experience fine dining at its cheapest price. We got there at exactly 2pm.. Apparently they close from 2- 5:30 pm. When the guard told us that, it felt like my brain was about to explode..  They let us do a last order though so it was fine.. Obviously we were the only ones there so it was like we had the place reserved.. NAKS..

La Copa is this steakhouse we would often go to when I was a kid. Their Super La Copa is roughlt a 9-inched steak topped with nice servings of  two types of potato recipes, gravy and mixed vegetables... But this time, we've decided on downing a smaller piece of Peppered Hungarian Sausage, Beef Charlamagne, Seafood Paella and a bottle of red wine.. ALL of those costs less than 3,000 pesos.. It is so cheap it makes me cry..

I'd like  to indulge you with pictures but I'm starting to see the flaws of my Iphone, for some reason, I can't upload them.. I will not rest though till I get them all up soon..

Stormy as it was, we've decided to do the most doltish thing to do in a day like that.. Ride a motorcycle from Manila to Parañaque and back.. Nice move huh? No regrets though.. We had a great meal.. Plus the left over wine was safely tucked at the back ready to be gulped down once we get to dry land.. But first, we needed to battle the storm... And we did, I even fooled BF into using a longer and muddier route just to show him the church I was telling him about... sipol sipol..
 

This is yet another self centered/ self- serving blog but I know most people who are reading this must care about me at some degree.. or not.. And yeah.. paninindigan ko to...

When I say break up, I'm really not directing it towards my boyfriend alone but also with friends as well, although I must say, he has got a lot to do with this. A recent “talk” I had with him made me realize how much I should value myself more and to do that, I should enumerate to myself the valuable things in me.. I wouldn't spill out the whole story of the “bf talk” but its just to say that I have my reasons. So conceited as it may seem, I'll lay it all out for myself and for all the friends who are planning to break up with me.

1. I am very choosy when it comes to people I become devoted to. As you all know I am the type of person who gets along OK with everyone but does not really bother to waste my time on people I don't like. POINT? Konti lang kayo, kaya pag birthday ko, sure na invited ka. And this time, I'll make sure na yung party ko maraming beer... MARAMING MARAMI kahit walang handa basta madamiii... saka may videoke. WINK WINK

2. My parents are rich. Do I need to make a supporting paragraph?

2. I'm a beautiful person inside and out.. How can I say so? Because its a fact.. There's a saying nga diba? Ang kapangitan nakakahawa yan... As far as I can tell, I have been surrounded by beautiful people all my life. So if you think you are ugly, your not my friend kasi ayokong mahawa sa iyo and I don't want to put to waste all the beauty that I have adapted from my other beautiful friends kung sakaling mahahawaan ako ng pangit..

3. Wala nang magluluto pag may outing or if ever theres someone else to volunteer... the food is not gonna be as good.. :-|

4. Marami akong sideline saka I'm masipag THEREFORE.. Marami akong pera. So does that mean ililibre ko kayo? No. It only means na you have a rich friend na pwede mong utangan and that matters the most...

5. I love you with all my heart. Why would you want to break up a friend/girlfriend who loves you so much? Specially when I can call my private thugs to beat you up to a pulp if ever you make the simple mistake of leaving me.

Unlike most people who blog about the negative traits they have kasi they're afraid that others might think they're mayabang.. I'm merely telling you guys the truth because I'm your friend and friends deserve the truth.. So Badtrip, I'm so Awesome! Ika nga ni Barney I'm oozing with awesomeness.. :-|

Its mother’s day and to celebrate, I decided to meet my bro at the mall buy a couple of things and catch up with each other’s lives... We picked up a few things: beef hoffan noodles for my dad, a bouquet for me mom and Topamax for my kid bro (go google it up to know what its for) Anyawuzzz as we were talking he revealed  that he has a new gf and he wants me to meet her. Which led him to asking me about BF.... hmmmmmmmm.... hmmmmm...

Of course, being on a long vacation means there’s gonna be an idle time.. Idle time for me is synonymous to curling up in the sofa bed with my blanket and pillows watching pirated DVDs of various TV series... I suddenly realized that I’m out of DVDs to watch, the next thing I know, I was popping in a DVD of a koreanovela -- Princess hours.... godd... In the middle of uberly b

ad subtitles, I was squirming on my seat muttering “tanginang lalake to pinapacomplicate pa yung love story eh!” and “tanginaa bakit hindi mo pa aminin!!!” in short, I was enjoying it :-| Don’t you judge me...

The next day was the town fiesta of Sta. Ana. Havent gone to any town fiestas for so long.. This time its different from the usual fiestas that I go to where usually, my only job is to munch on every morssel of food that I can manage to put on my plate... This time, I was privileged to have  become the  official chef.. its the first time in my life I cooked a lot of dishes.. Well 4 is a lot for me...  but the experience was worth it.. I prepared some buttered lemon chicken, my version of oriental/texan pork ribs, fresh mango/buko/peach salad and what’s a fiesta without pancit deebuh???

At isa pa, what is a celebration without videoke? BF, myself and everyone who is close to me has this penchant for videokes.. parang nagiging requirement na nga siya sa mga friends ko.. but then again, majority of the people in this archipelago wait hours to get their chance to get their hands on the microphone... and dude marami nang nagpatayan dahil sa videoke..

For some reason, it seems as if lahat ng hiya mo sa katawan nauubos if its videoke we are talking about.. Reminds me of few weeks ago's trip to the beach. We rented this videoke machine for a whopping 2500 pesos.. tangina diba? But should we let a thing like money stop us para makagulo sa beach with the use of our ehemmm lovely voices?? Noooo... Apparently in the beach, it wasn't just us who are thinking that way.. All of us decided to take a break from drinking booze, eating loads and loads of meat and using the trophy videoke (note we waited the entire day cause all machines were in use). So we took a dip for a while and take advantage of the drizzle (drizzle by the way makes the water pleasantly warm).. a few minutes of fooling around in the water we went back to our cottage, to our dismay, there were three girls belting their throats out to the tune of "Greatest Love of All" ASTIG DIBA?? So we watched them for a while until finally we asked them: "Miss, beer gusto niyo? Pagkain?" They didn't manage to reply, they just dropped the microphone and walked off like guillty rats.. shet natawa ko sa reaksyon nila.. Hay tao talaga...

I have just celebrated the second year of my life as part of the working class... yep time flies faster than you can imagine. And as a tribute to that, I’m presently taking a week off from going to the office to use up my remaining vacation leaves to bum around. While some might take advantage of this by going out of town and burning off their wallets, I took the time off to spend time with people who matter to me right here in the familiar streets of metro manila. I’m on day 6 now and sure as hell I’m having a blast.

DAY 1

For a couple of months I wasn’t able to take my mom out and I realized that this is the perfect time to do it, specially since mother’s day is coming up. Things are seriously bad at home (i really wouldn’t want to discuss it) and I figured that a perfect gift for her would be a relaxing evening at our favorite hang out place -- the cinema. I must admit the night didn’t start out too well because for more than 15 years straight, she regularly goes to church thursday nights to attend her weekly prayer meeting... Yes, THAT prayer meeting, the type where everyone would raise their hands and shake their hips to the tune of “alive, alive my jesus is alive...” I know the drill and I seriously don’t want to want to put up with that so, I went to the car, listened to “gabi ng lagim” in AM radio and slept for almost 2 hours...



Finally she was done and I was already proposing we go home instead since the long wait made me want to stretch my legs and sleep. I then realized the day would be a waste if we didn’t go on with the plan so we were off to Glorrietta... Speed Racer is up but I thought a chick flick would be a more appropriate thing to watch with my mom, so I bought tickets for the Cameron-Ashton movie... Well, my mom is the type who you’d get annoyed with if ever you are unlucky to have chosen a chair near her in a movie house. She’s the type who laughs too loudly on lousy humor and gets TOO carried away in suspense scenes... This time, I realized I really don’t mind... Spending 600 bucks was worth everything after hearing her laugh at the lamest jokes, whispering with each other too loudly about the couple who was trying to make out in the seat in front of us and holding hands while rushing out to the car park because daddy dear was already looking for us.. 
DAY 2

The second day is hubby day, a time to stretch out with BF in front of the television to watch basketball over nicotine and iced caffeine (the life pare)... Yes, I watch basketball now, so sue me.. Hanging out with a bunch of hooligans made me experiment on various things especially on the kitchen thus, I was able to concoct a perfect recipe of bulanglang...



DAY 3

Day three made me realize the simple joys of life.. I was given a privilege to do things that I don’t normally do or have never done before.. For starters, have you ever eaten burong hipon (fermented shrimps with week old rice), fried dalagang bukid and burong mustasa sauteed in eggs and ground pork? I thought so... Next, guys who have the same lifestyle as mine normally watch basketball on TV, while me.. hmmm.. think of anything fancier than a town plaza pare, bigating inter color baranggay tournament! And when was the last time you took a bath in the rain? “Took a bath” meaning purposely going out of the house to get drenched in the middle of the streets of Manila running around like a couple of retards.. The last time I did that, I was uhhh 6 or 7 years old... It might not be an ideal vacation for some but I'd say it is one of the best I had in my lifetime.. Day three pa lang yan...

Woah.. I saw the last entry that I wrote here.. nyemas that was like a century ago pa.. And yeah apparently I didn't get the position and surprise surprise turns out  the position was for an account ruled by a natzi who is so glad to have provided his employees with oodles and oodles of bathroom supplies, lysol and brewed starbucks coffee but would practically summon you into his office for breathing out too loud.. Go ask Tina...



Who would have thought that account would have triggered a life changing event? Well as everyone knows I am resigning from Iweb, I must admit, it was great while the fun lasted... but its simply time to move on our ass while we still can, and while we haven't completely fallen in love with the pool, the rickety chairs in the pantry and uhhh the dart board in the "proposed gym" funny how it remains to be called "proposed" gym.. It would take me a gig worth of memory if I'll try to recount all the things that will remind me of Iweb... Siyempre and OA naman ng 1 gig diba.. Well tomorrow is my last day but I'm kinda deciding on not coming to the office instead accompanying my mom somewhere.. So instead of finishing my quota, I think I'd rather indulge in leaving a message in this little blog of mine as tribute to the company that has helped me in so many ways...



To Iweb-- You know how people are--- its their nature to complain and its normal for anyone to think about themselves at all times.. yeah walang taong gustong maagrabyado at magulangan.. so, in every way possible, some employees of yours are simply trying to do their best to avoid that... And I guess we all have to understand that.. You are good employers and I salute you for that.. Siguro naman eh this is not the time to kiss ass, so there.. And as I've said to sir obet, it's not the company why I'm transferring, its the companion.. and partially yeah I must admit, I'm getting tired of my work and I really can't ask you to spoil me each time, you know how I constantly complained and asked to be transferred because I'm simply downright selfish.. So again.. thank you for everything..

Sa lahat ng mga tao sa Iweb.. na I care about ---- well most of them are gone now... so may point diba? Pero to the oldies-- salute din for sticking around the company, and being loyal to it in spite of any frustrations you might have against it.. I'm sure some day you'll get a fair share of harvest from all the labors that you've put through for making cyberspace an unsafe place for children and adults alike..

Its hard for me to leave this company that I've grown to love and I must say its scary to be out venturing into another jungle since sa Iweb isa na kong ligaw tree na may lumot and I've gotten used to being in the exact spot that I'm in. And yeah, I'm sure everybody knows that this is my first job and you normally don't stay for more than a year in first jobs, right?


So last call.. sa mga tao sa admin -- sa mga  anak anakan kong sila loubelle at joanne.. -- i spent a great deal of time doing stuff that floating employees normally won't have to do, and I thank you for the privilege...

dellwood guys and gals and gays pati sina par at steven at shella (oo ang mga matataas ang sahod na senior writer) -- yung mga taong nakasuot ng shroomed palagi.. it was nice knowing a bunch of yummy guys.. :-| and mga intelihenteng mga writer :-|


Night Shift guys -- thanks for taking me under your wing for a few months.. it was great getting drunk with you guys alas diyes ng umaga.. jheng paul and all you guys..



HB guys and girls--- well.. what can I say, we're all free? Sa mga survivors.. congratulations, I can see that some of you are living better days now..

Sordid Ones -- na pinamumunuan ni jeyoh.. he is like my first friend in iweb cause i've known him ever since... EVER since.. na EVER since may utang na sa kin ng punyetang starbucks..

Webdate-- asan na ba kayo?? well, we had fun didn't we? And it is great to have worked with you.. I have found in you guys friends that I don't mind growing old with if we are lucky na tumanda pa.. ohh.. and getting emo with.. yeah i'll even slash your wrists for you.. I love you guys and I'm sure you know that... kaya nga potipot pa tayo sa june duhba!!




  

Yes If I was blessed with balls (which I'm glad I don't have, by the way), tt would have risen up my throat by now. I'm so nervous, I can eat this entire PC complete with my USB drive.. In such a short time, a lot of things happened to me but I'm here to talk about the thing that makes me bite my nails more..

After months of trying to succumb my asshole boss, I was finally given a chance to resign from his account. I feel sorry to be leaving tina behind but, I'm sure sooner or later she will have her chance of escaping that hell. yeah I'm exaggerating..

Anyway, back to the old life, I'm back here again at the 27th floor waiting for whatever fate is in stored for me. This time, no more poker games with mixed nuts used as poker chips; no more benny to annoy with my unceasing "Welcome to the Black Parade" rendition and; basically, no other company except for the dragon ball and tekken characters in my PSP...

Yesterday, I was thrilled to have talked to the COO who said  that they will be endorsing me to a new client as a project manager.. woohooo.. My excitement lasted for about 6.2789 seconds; after those glorious seconds, it suddenly occurred to me that Jesus! I'm not even accepted yet, and worse neither have I been interviewed! Things became even worse when I learned that 2 applicants have already failed. If you think thats bad enough, he actually prefers a guy.. Ironic that I actually started this blog with statement about balls..

Speaking of balls, I bet I have more balls than majority of the male population, mine is just bigger and it ended up not hidden in my crotch but in front of my chest. Those who think otherwise can shoot their balls off and stew it for dinner. Sheesh.. now that the Dutch boss is acting all chauvinistic, good luck to my career.. I'm sorry guys, I may not be able to make this. Not much chance for the pizza I promised to treat everyone who helped me to get this far.. Anyway, this is an opportunity I won't waste, if I'm speaking all pessimistically well thats just something to help me feel less bad about possibly not getting the position. I'm not really afraid to fail, though as I've said, its an opportunity! I bet everyone would understand; cause among all people I'm at par with professionally right now, WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO GET A PROJECT MANAGER'S SALARY???!!!

Now that idea made me smile: The thought of money and the thought of it getting flushed down together with your shit-turned-lunch.. But seriously, the reason why I really want this job? There wouldn't be people reading this right now if I wasn't given the chance (in the first place) to work with a bunch like them. People who respect you not because you are leading them and people who are always willing to boost you up while you have mud all over your god forsaken face, people who laugh at you when you have mistakes and laugh even louder when they make their own.. Well good luck to me.. To the people I promised starbucks/pizza in abondanza, I am asking for your prayers to your own respective gods or... trees...

Sometimes people don't realize the impact of their every small decisions to the people around them. Some of them never really think about the difference that will result from the actions that they never really think over before doing.

The last few days, I have been taking a peek at the events taking place outside my little world that I gladly barricaded with blazing thorns. I had to smile at what I saw: authentic Italian thin crusted pizza overloaded with olive oil, mozzarella and tomatoes--- shared with people who appreciate your company and appreciate the cheesy goodness of pizza as much as you do; rain --- lots of it! old friends that swore never to speak to each other again --- all in one place arguing whether they eat Benny's pizza or order their own; male species who were not too embarrassed to admit that they are wrong--- and actually mean it and; comforts of an oversized jacket someone has left for you to shield  you from cold and depression. All these things keep me going in spite of the absence of three of the most important men in my life: My eldest brother whose absence I got accustomed to; the beloved pseudo father of my lovely beagle and, my other brother who I miss smoking, drinking and exchanging stories with.

My other brother- second to the eldest, is presently living in a crappy boarding house somewhere in Mendiola. When I say crappy, I mean a place you would love to lock up your enemies in. I kinda miss seeing him do upside down push-ups while, I watch TV series marathons and eat potato chips in the couch. I miss those drunken nights when we would tell each other stories about our “special someones” and chats on how we survive the snatcher-swarmed streets of Metro Manila; all these over a cheap long neck brandy and apple iced tea.

I'm quite jumpy when people try to play me; thats why, people close to me know better than to try their luck into getting to my nerves. But not my bro, he is a cool headed ass who knows how to earn the trust of every person, probably everyone except for my dad. The entire second floor of our house has been our exclusive smoking/bonding area since we moved in to the new place. Since theres only the two of us in that floor, we've grown closer and closer during the past few months. When did I realize this? Only now that he stepped temporarily out of our lives...

So what is the connection of this to equilibrium? Heh. Well the week hadn't been exactly good with me but, my friends' decision to surrender their guns had the effect on me I never knew existed. Its true that you'll never appreciate something if you got your hands full with other things. You will see the value of things left to you once you are left staggering and bleeding in the ground...

===

This morning, I learned that one of my office mates have been too scared to get out of the safety of her cubicle. I wonder what she's afraid of... Also, it made me laugh that someone actually complained that "me and my other equally annoying companions" are hitting her nerves while, she on the other hand, was pathetic enough to trash my friend's blog just to get some attention... God, I just have to laugh out loud at that idea... I've got one thing to say: never jump into deep water if you don't know how to swim, nor in water too shallow cause you might just hit your head-- HARD! Its one thing that you might die due to lack of oxygen or brain damage but, it is worse if you suddenly plunge a pencil in your own arteries just because your head is clouded with paranoia. Anyway I thank them for giving me something to grin about. I'd normally say get a life and everything DOES NOT revolve around you and; treat them like air after that, but then again, these creatures are simply too entertaining to ignore..

Jesus my grammar sucks.. 

  

  Let me be the first person to report that tonight, North Korea will be signing the peace amendment between their nation and the leftist minority who resided in Mt. Tralala during the days of bloodshed. (the name of the mountain  was discovered by the singing sensation Jomay)

All the countries who got stuck between the feud are very much appreciative of the move made by Korea. All the Asian countries who were affected will no longer ban the cheesy “koreanovelas” that polluted their television airwaves and the minds of their innocent children. According to prime minister Lee, they no longer wish to see crimson rivers and bodies stacked in mounds. The minorities who I assume is very happy with the decision of the prime minister are presently preparing themselves for the peace talks to be held at The Old Spaghetti House a few minutes from now..

According to Benny one of the casualties of war, he doesn't care bacause he is presently involved with a woman whose name is... lets just call her Ms. Cebu. Information on whether he was deflowered or not is still unknown.

One Indonesian though from Saba who acted as spy against the minorities is now in hiding due to fear that the Koreans might figure out that everything he said was a lie...All along, the minorities  don't realy care about the minister. They are presently planning to make a revenge attack because the Korean prime minister and her chief of staff crumbled, stamped off, marauded, and smashed two princesses from Mt. Tralala to pieces. These princesses have been spotted hiding somewhere in the himalayan mountains after the said attack.  

The outcome of this peacetalk will possibly appear on theblindrage network. Please tune in..

 

Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill everyone, and you are a god.

I woke up this morning remembering those lines from the last book I read by Jeff Povey. It still lingers in my head even after all the drama from the 700 plus plus-paged Harry Poohtahr. Thank you by the way, Miss Rowling for feeding everyone's curiosity with something they want to know, very gracious of you. :-| Anyway, this of course has nothing to do with little Albus Severus Potter but the possibility of ME being an all powerful demigod. Yes brothers and sisters, I have discovered lately that my claim has prodigious potential to happen. And how can I prove that? So far, only me, my cotton stuffed cow buddy named Khaow and my polystyrene-filled friend Mogu knows. To clue you in, that quote above has something to do with this...

JESUS THIS ENTRY IS SOOO LAST WEEK. I forgot to post it but i'm posting it anyway..

No, this is not another emo entry, trust me...

This morning on my way to the office I was given a bone crunching blow by my ATM card. I decided to withdraw bread but when I saw my account balance, I had to run out of the bank and go for option B. What exactly is option B? You tell me..

Surprisingly, after getting myself three jobs.. I'm broke. I guess its true that the bigger moolah you have on your pocket, the bigger your expenses becomes. I used to get by with the measly 12 grand I get every month when I just started my job.. Now, I'm trying to recall how I was able to do that magic..

Probly one of the reasons is that my bf used to pay for some of the shit I need and now that he is somewhere else, its my turn to take care of the stuff he left behind. Also, when he was still here, I didn't have to pay a penny for my leisure cause I was happy hanging out in his place for days, watch TV cook all sorts of things, watch a movie ones in a while and thats it. Now, I have to buy stuff for my room just so I could glue my ass in there somehow and, it will look decent enough to pass as a working area rather than a pig pen. I have to take care of busted bulbs, repair my broken cabinet, PC parts, install new shelves for my books, get an internet connection and replace the god forsaken door knob which my kid brother fundly clobbered into pieces just because he has umm an appetite in destroying things..

Somehow I managed to keep myself busy during the first week of bf's departure.. so busy that it got me broke.. besides the fact that I had been buying all sorts of things, the money I'm supposed to get from my other client got stock somewhere between the US and Philippine phone wires or whatever..

 In spite of that fact, I still managed to get spend a whopping 500 pesos for a potato salad as my share for a surprise party for three of my officemates. Normally 500 pesos is nothing, but with only 2k plus plus in your account and a daily transpo fee of 160 bucks. 500 pesos is gold.. I really don't know about my officemates but me, I enjoyed the party very much especially after getting a footage of tina.. oh i'm sorry.. a "tina-lee-look-a-like" partying her shit out on top of a wooden platform.. Plus, I just have to smile at the efforts/awkward moments that paeng and tina had. They have to succomb each others faces and take note, they posted together in not just one but dozens of photos.. nyahahaha..bwahahaha cough cough... 



      

I have to retrace the whereabouts of my old friends just to get a breathe of my old life and see where it went wrong. Not that my life is really THAT fucked up.. I'm just plain hrmm (cue in Dashboard) dddeeppressed.. shit took me effort to admit that.. I know tons of people expect me to, specially since the day I've been dreading for months has come.

BF just called.. they had to stop in Korea for 11 hours before they leave for San Francisco. The thought of him leaving made me cry like getting bukkaked by a hundred Japanese weeners almost everyday for a month or two. This is supposed to be a chance to explore what else is there in stored for me and so.. I did explore. I presently have three fuckin jobs that i do not know how i will manage to fit in my sched. I must admit I like that better than having an idle time for emotionally indulging into some stupid fantasy of reuniting with him at the soonest possible time.

Other than being a slave to Hades, I took a freelance job from this kano whose name is the same with my bf and bro. Perfect. since there is no way of knowing how he is in real life I just imagined him as fansied Johnny Depp porn pimp version.. sheesh I'm THAT depressed..I took another freelance job doing marketing for a European company and the biggest reason for accepting the job is the possiblility of getting a vonage phone at home so; there may be a possibility I can call BF! So much for exploring huh..

I willingly took all those jobs so I won't notice how crappy my social life had been the past few months.. I willingly left my old life of heavy drinking with crazy farts and replaced it with a utopian lifestyle brought about by a bunch of riot office mates and a very loving boyfriend.

BF decided he needs to put things (including the future) in order so, he had to leave..Office mates realized their friendship's foundation is a petty rock made of sand and so, deciding to call it quits..

Now that things aren't how they were anymore, I realized that living a utopian dream can only lead to two things:

1) It will make you look forward to the coming days. Who knows? Maybe the old life will come back.. If it won't, I'll have to settle for...uhh whatever..

2) It's a preparation for you to hate your life even more.. You drown in a flight of fancy that things will be the same as long as you live but, at one point your delusion will run out of air and its life will be over. Just like a plastic bottle of bleach, you will float without anything left inside except for the outlandish smell of semen..yebahh!

So for now, tata! I hope we all meet soon I will be.. no.. I HAVE BEEN missing everyone.. Hail to love, hail to life hail to friendship and hail to depression!

Its been days since one of our dogs died... And due to lack of drama, I decided to make a blog entry about it...

(Background Music on Adagio for Strings by Samuel Barber)

My boyfriend and I together with a team of maskuladong house mates have been taking care of two dogs for about a year now. I heard the fateful news from my boyfriend one Sunday afternoon while I was having a marathon of Monk series on DVD. This was how the conversation went:

BF: Mama, what time are you coming?

Me: Hrmm. Probly in an hour..

BF: Ahh. Sorry, I can't pick you up.

Me: It's ok, I know.

BF: I have made up my mind, I'm buying a Piaggio instead of a GMAX.

Me: Good for you, I like Vespa better than any other crap your interested to ride on.

BF: Good. Kasi 2 valves lang daw pala yun PGO.

Me: Hmm. Alam mo naman ang amor ko sa vintage vehicles.

BF: Yeah.. I have thought of that para si mama lang magalit sa kin sa pag gastos ko. (I invented that part) BTW Can you make it here by 5?

Me: Why?

BF: Its either you are coming with us sa gym to watch kasi nagpareserve sila or, your staying home to cook dinner. Take your pick.

Me: Umm. I'll try to be there by 5, magPSP na lang ako.. Can I smoke at the gym?

BF: Probably.. Oh By the way, Pulgas died.

Me: Oh Fuck Really?

BF: Yeah We just buried him. Next to Coco. The front yard is officially a pet cemetery.

Me: Gee, why didn't you tell me sooner?

BF: uhh. *Pause* we just buried him?

Me: Oh... Kay... be there in giffy.. Want grilled tilapya clams and seaweeds?

BF: Boodle Fight..

By hearing the names of the two pets, you'd know who's the favorite: Jaquee, a beagle and Poolgas on the other hand is a humongous Labrador/Golden Retriever . Its not that we are bad parents, its just that Jaquee is a complete duplicate of bf's first dog Coco, who died last year while bf was on vacation to Israel. You see, that beagle thinks she's a person. She got sooo fat from eating fries chocolates and cookies that her tummy kept rubbing on the ground. Unfortunately, no scrubbing could keep the dirt out of her stomach. 11 year-old Coco was so loved that everybody mourned/panicked during the day of her death. On the day of her death Dobi, one of bf's pseudo orphans called me up:

Dobi: Rhae ano..

Me: Ano?

Dobi: Ano kasi

Me: ano kasi?

Dobi: Si Coco ano eh

Me: (in a shaky voice) Ano?

Dobi: Patay na lilibing na ba namin?

Me: Putaena..(call dropped)

Me: Cccocoo... uhuhuhu waahhh huhuhuhuhuh ahuhuhuhu.. cocoooooo! (hikbi hikbi) phone rings

I was not surprised when a few minutes later BF calledL

Me: Hello

BF: Mama.. OK ka lang?

Me: Yeah.. Ikaw?

BF: OK lang.. It ok, its better off that way.. she's getting too old already, baka nahihirapan na din siya.

Me: Yeah.. I hope YOU are ok.

BF: When I asked you to go visit her, I prepared myself already.. So tanggap ko na..

Me: I somewhat had my hopes up.

BF: Tanggap ko na but... huhuhuh..

Me: (In my head) OH gaaad..

and so the drama started

(Sorry Paw..:P )

I never ever cried that way in any funeral -people or animals alike. Not even when my grandpapa died of hanging himself. You could just imagine the nightmare of the still light headed maid (due to sleeping too much) when she discovered his carcass dangling up on the tree.

Anyway, a week after Mike came back from his 2-months vacation, we went straight to the pet store and viola! Instant resurrection of Coco. Mike actually suggested that we name her Coco. Sheesh I don't even have to explain why I vehemently refused to name her that.

Yesterday, I walked around the cramped up house where the giant dog Pulgas and Jaquee used to bite each others head off for fun. Thanksfully, all their attempts were in vain. The bathroom was Poolgas' territory. He would watch me smoke while shiting 'cause he always refused to leave the comforts of the damp bathroom tiles. I was starting to think: that could have been one of the reasons he died.. Jesus Christ.. imagine how the gas from your rear would smell after two days of eating Shawarma..

Anyway as I took a dump, it suddenly felt weird that nobody is watching me shit anymore.. It was an odd feeling.. Thats when I realized something cheesy: Nobody and I mean nobody will ever be willing to watch me shit not unless, I offer them a million dollars and a nose plug.. But Poolgas -that beast ought to be awarded for martyrdom. He is the only living creature willing to put up with the stink of my hershey and stink bomb just to defend his 16 square meter territory..

Whether or not dogs have souls, one way or another, they did something that no other person did for you. Poolgas used to eat from my palm and both of us wouldn't mind. Also in our case, we can shit in front of each other. Probably I would throw my slippers at him whenever he attempts to take a dump in front of me while I'm eating but, never did he snap at me for shitting in front of him while he is relaxing in his crib.. Dude, he would sleep through/just stare blankly through my entire defecation process .. It takes so much more than just guts to do that..

Several attempts have been made to post even just a single entry in this lovely space but, just like a bus ride going to hell – scary crap taken with strangers; bumpy; revealing; nauseating – its simply bound... NOWHERE or at least nowhere I want.. I probably have about half a gig worth of documents on all the computers my fingers made love to for the entire year. These are word documents of unfinished blog entries that I never had the guts to post. Yeah yeah.. guts my ass, I am a believer of the goddess named “Moi” therefor: guts is one thing I never ran out of even if used/abused..

[Goddess Moi's last sighting was on her royal desk munching on holy kettle popcorn, (yes even her popcorn is holy) playing an RPG game on PSP while, taking a constant peek in her “rear view mirror” to see if Hades (her boss) is behind her.]

Anyway, after a loooong contemplation I decided to attempt finishing one entry. FYI: This piece of tale has been in my computer for more than a month. I've been too busy with work that I neber really had the time. Anyway, Hades decided to grace the Thai country with his presence; probly sharing foreign delicacies/specie/flesh with his equally perverted queen so, its officially INDEPENDENCE DAY in the office! I do not have to use my “rear view mirror” anymore..

I joyfully played PSP with my foot propped up the CPU. After awhile, I looked around. Gee... everybody looks so busy with work.. So... I played on (nyaha). After a few more “game overs” I looked around again... Shit, nobody else appears as slacked off as I appear to be. But. I could bet all the bags of Holy Kettle Corn ever popped; I am positive that 70% of these people aren't really working. [Either they are watching you tube/porn, playing LAN Games, having cyber sex in YM, masturbating in the CR (DO NOT judge them they edit porn, forgive them for wanking off) updating their on-line playlist like tina here... or whatever have you] At least they LOOK busy...

So, I decided to imitate them, I opened My crappy word program (it's not MS) and started typing. I was proud of myself. Now, I really look like a diligent workaholic! I was diagnosed with that disorder the first few months of working for Hades. Later, I realized that working diligently for the devil is not worth all material things. Oh fuck did I say material things? I should probably rephrase the statement: working for the devil like him doesn't get you anything – not even material things PERIOD.

As you can see, I am coming down the mountain to take a vacation from hating the notional life. I am now a full pledged self absorbed cyber junkie! Just like a normal on-line writer (which was my initial job), I am finally posting my blogs on line. Not that its something to celebrate over cause seriously my writing sucks. And I didn't say that to fish comments like “Ano ka ba? Ok naman a!” Because if there is any boost that I need right now it's not a lift in my ego but a lift in my nose bridge.. As I have mentioned earlier (did I say it out loud or was I just thinking it?) there are a couple of things that made me decide to write blogs on-line again:

• I was sorting through my old stuff and found a couple of journals i made when I was 10. After more dig in a pile of trinkets, I found another one I wrote back in high school. It was fun laughing at how stupid or in more acceptable words: how childish I was. Those journals by the way are and I mean ARE (present tense) constantly read by my mom whenever she “stumbles” upon it on times I'm off to work. My present journal is in my bedside, I bet she is reading it, what kind of mom are you if you wouldn't?!
  
  Mommy, I say, you've been warned by Mara Clara and all the diary - themed flicks that ever appeared in the face of the television. The contents are supposed to create tear jerking scenes right? Do not be shocked if you don't spot entries like “The Lord is My Shepherd there is nothing I shall want..” (at least I think it sounded like that)
  
  So, basically my mother though "clueless" supposedly about everything that happens to my life has an idea about how fucked up in the head her only daughter really is. We just never talked about any of it. NOT at all. So anyway, those journals made me realize that too many things are happening and it sucks that I let them pass me by leaving me nothing but blurry memories.. Too many emotions have been kept inside and its dying to explode!!! PPPrrUUTTT!!! Oh god... Stinky emo..
  

• I am somewhat hoping that a certain * coughboyfriendcough * is interested enough to know my present psychological state since, he is moving out of the country for a couple of months. Sheeshh I hate the idea that I won't be able to annoy him with the constant flare of my utterly annoying bitch out sessions... I will miss staring at his blank uninterested face as he stare back at me while I babble my frustrations out.. 

• Well.. I'm feeling constipated?

• 
  I'm posting this shit now before goddess Moi refuse to continue guiding my spirit.. To the people out there who have excellent grammar and syntax: Ram your heads up your asses. Got another thing to say: Shakespeare's English is far weirder than mine Fuckers, don't pretend like you understand every word of it cause I don't!

this blog is a flog (a blog for marketing purposes) for www.webdate.com

FIDDLE

My mother is an ob-gynecologist, my father a brain surgeon, my eldest brother followed the steps of my father, the second to the eldest a pediatrician my other brother is taking up medical technology in Harvard; just imagine the dismay of my parents when their only daughter got too busy with caterwauling in the basement and vandalizing every available surface in the house... Whenever my parents would have a trip interstate or out of the country they always go home with a new thing painted on the halls of the house. Though they never approved of it, they weren't able to do anything but have me painted it back to how it was.

Their grudge on my interests went on until college as they refused paying my school fees unless i take up any premed course. I was rebellious but i always take the easier route as much as possible. So, I enrolled my premed, took up my minors and dropped my major subjects and at the same time, I enrolled units on fine arts. During my college days i never really liked going out.. I was torn between secretly pursuing my interest and trying to make it look that I was very much interested in scrutinizing every part of the human body.. I locked myself up in the basement where i used the pages of my med books to cover the floor to avoid paint spills.. Sometimes i would invite Devon, one of my classmates in French Art to jam with me. We soon formed a band which, of course my parents disapproved of since it causes disturbance to my med studies. Obviously they tried to exercise their parental omnipotence after all, i was just their daughter...

I did not run away because I don't like being controlled but because theres no point in me staying with my parents. I went to Devon's place near the university and stopped going home to my parent's house on weekends. We opened a small bar where a lot of junkies from the university hang out. For several months I didn't go home and when i decided to do so, all my brothers are all gone to their own respective hospitals. Ironically, being a neurologist that he is, my dad was diagnosed of brain cancer. I pondered at the thought that all his life he had been tinkering with other people's brain but he cant do anything about his own neurological problems.. I stayed with him even if I felt that he couldn't appreciate my presence. I would often paint in front of him or play the violin for hours. That made me think: do you really have to have something wrong with your head before you appreciate art? I have told my dad about me dropping all my med units but he just stared at me blankly.. I never really felt guilty.. My mom on the other hand though disappointed never really took it against me.. My eldest brother too busy puttering around French brains never bothered trying to look into my dad, he said he is afraid of making any mistakes so he'd rather have somebody else look should I have taken medicine would I be able to save him? That must have been the reason why I took up medicine anyway. It made me think how many lives i could elongate. My mom was happy because of the sudden turn of events but i was not. I stopped playing, painting, and doing things i like...

I hated interacting much with anyone except with my professors. I go straight home sleep and start studying at the witches hour.. I was in no mood to study the day I came across webdate.com. Gaadd! a pathetic means of addressing your issues to random strangers. But then again, they are strangers so, there won't be any hassles, hold backs and on top of it all - shame. Soon i met this guy.. I never really meant to take him seriously. I just wanted someone i can rant my frustrations to. I went video chatting with him and told him bout what happened to me, what i want to do with my life originally. I told him about my frustrations about music+art vs. the insistence of my family for me to have a background in medicine.

At one point I got comfortable with him I would pick up my violin and played it for him. He would record it and do some mixes in the computer.. The end result is actually quite good. I know he was impressed just like the crowd who used to watch me every time I play and I miss the feeling that people apreciate you for something you enjoy doing.. 

One day he told me: Do you realize that being a doctor can be accomplished by almost everyone who would be patient enough to read all those med books? But, however good an artist they are, you are the only one who can play your song. Until now, I'm still thinking it through...